phantomcloud | [Personal Diary Entry] 4/27/2023

So much has happened since my last entry. Life's been utterly insane since coming to Chitoku Academy. Everything used to be so simple, neat, and orderly for me and now they're not. Everything's so complicated now.

I'm making new friends. I'm dating. Or rather I was. I guess I never told you that I was dating a boy. Yeah, the handsome one I mentioned in my last entry. What a mistake that turned out to be. Why do I make such horrible life decisions for myself? I know better than this. I can't do anything on my own without it turning into some kind of horrible disaster.

I need guidance to get back on the right path. I've wandered astray. I want to be a good person, a life in the light. I'm too weak to live this kind of lifestyle. I can't just turn my back on everyone and everything I've been taught like that. It's wrong. Everything I've been doing lately is wrong.

I have a study date with Saiga-senpai tomorrow. I've decided to tell her everything that's been happening between Mirai and me since I first got here. I can't make sense of it. Any of it. I don't understand what's happening or why I am the way I am or how it all came down to this.

I'm lost. I need someone to tell me what I should do and how I should be. I'm so ashamed and confused. How could I have been so stupid to think I could trust myself or make good decisions without help? I know nothing of real life or people or anything at all.

I fainted during lunch today. I wonder if Dr. Sakachi would be willing to make a house call over Golden Week. I need to see a neurologist soon.

I feel so embarrassed. I want to forget any of this ever happened and just start over.